In June 2021, a close friend and I got together twice, once for morning coffee, once for lunch. The times together with this friend were always enjoyable, but until these two meetings, our times with each other had been suspended for more than a year by the pandemic. During our times together, we always discussed significant personal, family, and faith issues. In our first meeting, I told my friend that I had withdrawn my membership from the church and that I was now exclusively attending a church online. In our second meeting, my friend urged me to begin attending a local church. I indicated that my decision to leave our church was developed over many years, and that if he wished, he could read in detail my journey away from the church as I had posted on my website eight years of letters I had written to the church leadership, including the final letter I wrote withdrawing my membership.

Several days after our second meeting, I received in the mail, a letter from my long-time friend again expressing his concern that I was now attending a church on-line, and not physically another local church in the area, and also a new concern over the posting on my website of my letters written to the church.  His letter, personal and not written in any official church capacity and typed double-spaced on only one page, is ironically the most substantive written response I had received from anyone in all of the eight years of writing letters to my church, and in my letter responding to him, I said this, and described his writing to me as “a sign of and a gift from a true friend indeed”.  

I am posting my response to my friend – with three typos corrected and one personal paragraph removed – as a way of also addressing similar concerns raised by a few other friends.

July 3, 2021

Dear Long-Time Friend,

Thank you for the letter you sent me in which you expressed concerns about my website, items posted, and certain directions of my life.  That, in and of itself, is a sign of and a gift from a true friend indeed.

From the content of your letter, I surmised you read the “prologue” to the letters, but may have only skimmed over the letters.  Forgive me if this assumption is wrong, but overall I do know that the body of work that these letters encompass is extensive and also time-consuming to read carefully.

I agree with your desire to always avoid political, social and philosophical discussions, which I also always endeavor to avoid for the most part with Christians and with others, as I always try to focus on a renewed intimacy with Christ in prayer and a close walk with the Holy Spirit.  I think I have also brought these issues up in our discussions together.  In these letters, where I brought up politics, I based what I wrote on what had actually already been said from the pulpit, or, in one case, based upon the subjects of a proposed political sermon series.  Further, my emphasis was then upon the spiritual confusion and misdirection the political overlays were having on believers, and the clear proclamation of the gospel.  Addendum I to this letter is a sample from the letters of my intent in writing, and also my concerns.

When you wrote about my motivations in posting these letters, you describe them as, “airing your complaints”.  In my thinking, I never had complaints, especially personal complaints, but I always wrote about the concerns I was having with all the political preachings, proclamations and asides from all the various pulpits at church and the cumulative effects of these upon the congregation.  I think Addendum I also demonstrates this.

Moreover, my audience for these letters is not the secular world, as the secular world doesn’t care about intimacy with Christ or a close walk with the Holy Spirit, as these subjects would only be concerns of a believer devoted to Christ and the gospel.  Also, I wrote the prologue to the postings of the letters I sent the church to address who I envisioned my audience to be, specifically, fellow believers at church who would be concerned about why I withdrew my membership from the church, if they were even so concerned.  This is why I informed you about my website and the fact that I have posted these letters on them.

I did not understand how I Corinthians 6: 1–11 applied to my letters.  I, of course, was not suing anyone, and no one was suing me.  Also for the eight years I wrote letters to the church to express my concerns, during those years I did not even have a website or even think of the appropriateness of putting these letters on the website.  However, with my letters, in a sense, I believe I much more carried out the spirit of this passage from I Corinthians than the church itself as I was writing, communicating with, and trying to establish some dialogue with those whose teachings and preachings I had concerns and whom I assumed would also be similarly concerned.  During all these years that I wrote, I never received a response, either verbally or in written form, until near the very end when I received a short phone call, of which I also wrote and posted on the website.  Ironically, Long-Time Friend, the letter you sent me is really the only substantive response I have received from anyone within the church about anything I have written in the letters.

In addition, in the letters I wrote, where appropriate, I did use scripture.  Again, I would ask you to read over Addendum I to get an overall impression of the content, tone, and intent with which I wrote the letters.  Also, if you were to read only one letter in its entirety, I would suggest the letter dated August 16, 2018, as it is one of the longest, and in a sense one of the most “political” as I am urging our pastor to reconsider preaching an entire series on political issues as I was concerned for the negative effects again upon the congregation and the diminishment of the gospel.  As it was, the series began, but then, strangely, the introduction just seemed to be repeated about three times over several Sundays and then it just ended.  I don’t know if my letter had anything to do with this truncated sermon series.

And, Long-Time Friend, I would also suggest that you read in its entirety the complete post for 2019.  This of course is the last year in which I really wrote our pastor and the elders, and it does describe one phone call contact I received from an elder.  I also included the content of a handwritten note that I received from Pastor MacArthur.  I included it because it so expresses his loving and kind pastoral heart that I think gets lost many times with many even at Grace Church.  I wanted people/readers to see this aspect of him, as it is a true representation of him, but then also by contrast, it demonstrates the difficulties I have had over all these years in balancing his gracious and kind pastoral heart with all the political overlays which seemed to have engulfed him and his ministry.  In my mind, clearly there are many things in my letters that edifies those reading them, and hopefully edifies and touches them to the point of independent, careful, and prayerful thought, a deeper and more clear apprehension of the issues and dangers facing the church, a drawing closer to Christ in intimate prayer, and a seeking of a daily closer and more joyfully obedient walk with the Holy Spirit.  

And all this, of course, provides the deep rationale for including the letters on my website, and for their continued presence.

Now, one thing I wanted to say about my letters to the church, which is in addition to the concerns you raised in your letter, is that I did not compose/write these letters in isolation.  I always had a small group of readers/friends who faithfully read over and critiqued the various drafts of the letters, a group that included several close friends at Grace Church, some family members, believers from other churches, and several other close friends from my high school and college years who were very concerned and even mystified with statements from the pulpit that seemed to cloud, shadow, and even eclipse the centrality of Jesus, His Kingdom, and even the gospel itself.  Many within this group also faithfully prayed for me during this process, and also, as I, for the church itself.

Thank you also for your concern about my local church attendance.  I understand your concerns, but I don’t think we discussed the on-line church I attend sufficiently to give you a complete picture of my participation or the length and origins of my attendance.  I have been part of this church in a growing capacity since 2017 through which I have been much more connected and encouraged in my daily walk than I had been for many years.  I think one of my motives for writing letters over eight years to the pastors and elders of Grace was that I may have been looking and hoping for a response or even just an invitation to somewhat dialogue on issues to maintain that local church connection which I sensed I was losing, and which in fact was actually withering and being taken away from me, as the church veered more and more into politics and the political gospel.

See Addendum II which is an excerpt from a letter I wrote another friend describing how when I was writing these letters, I always thought of them as letters written to my local church.

                As it is now, I attend, on-line, yes, the Sunday service and the Wednesday noon prayer time – both with communion.  I have taken an on-line a class on prayer and a one-day seminar on seeing Jesus within all of scripture, I have participated in a discussion group on addressing the issue of racism within the church, and now I am part of a Zoom Sunday Sermon Discussion group, that has domestic and international participants. 

I am active in this discussion group.  I have additionally made significant email and/or phone friendships with the leader and five of the participants.  The leader asked me to close in prayer, and I have now recently volunteered to be one of those opening with prayer and with a devotional/reflection upon scripture.  I am friends with one of the other pastors at the church, I have spoken to him on the phone giving requested critique on the format of his discussion group, and I once emailed him to ask for advice on one aspect of my website.  When I am in Missouri, I attend the church and as many functions available.  I am now considering membership. 

I actually think I am functioning within a church, in my present capacity with this church, as well, if not better in some areas, than I have had since 2017 when the local church my son-in-law was pastoring, and that I was attending in addition to Grace, folded when he and his family moved to Missouri.  My son-in-law introduced me to the church in Missouri, and this is the church he, my daughter, and my grandchildren attend, so I also have this very strong connection.  All this to say, that I have with this church on-line just the same, and actually more – like my five grandchildren! – than I would have by attending a local church here.  The only thing I don’t have, which I do greatly miss, of course, is the potlucks and meals with the church community.  I do miss the casserole connection!  Ah well, my food right now with this church is spiritual, and to me it is indeed healthy, restoring, very nourishing, and deeply satisfying of soul.

(Omitted Paragraph)

Thank you again for your kind, honest and thoughtful letter.

Chris

Addendum I

November 5, 2012 Letter

And now I write because of my concerns over your recent sermons and their planned political use, the funding for this political project, and the affect of all this upon the congregation at Grace.  And the foundation of these concerns is my overall concern for our church’s focus on and devotion to Christ and the gospel. 

August 18, 2014 Letter

And though the Lord brought these messages to futility politically, the preaching of these sermons and their media promotion damaged what I believe was the essential integrity of the preaching and ministry at Grace by subordinating, and thus misusing, scripture and your preaching to promote purely worldly political ideologies.  I now urge you to never again follow or allow yourself to be lead down that path again.  I urge this out of concern for your preaching and the true legacy of your ministry, and out of concern for my many brethren at Grace who are still without joy by being primarily politically captivated in their thinking and worldview, and, stemming from these, I am deeply concerned for the integrity and honesty and primacy of the clear message of salvation going out from the church.

April 10, 2015 Letter

My immediate concerns center on your sermon when the church honored the local police.  I believe our police should be honored as they have a very difficult job within our nation.  And yet that very honoring carried messages covering political issues way beyond our local police and also contained what I believe is a very dangerous error in seeming to confirm upon the police the duty and power of capital punishment.

(Omitted Sections)

And, now, finally, I again want to reiterate my tremendous respect and appreciation for your teaching ministry in my life and again I renew my commitment to pray for you.  You have been an absolute blessing in my life; I pray that I may be at least a small blessing in yours.

September 5, 2017 Letter 

I am writing this letter out of loyalty to you and to my brethren at Grace, to express my deep concerns over your political pronouncements and messages during the 2016 election and the growing need now, I believe, for a humble, careful, and prayerful look at these actions and their immediate and continuing effects within the church and nation. 

(Omitted Sections)

The power of Christ’s church does not reside in corporate political movements, but only in the power and working of the Holy Spirit in the individual heart disciplined and bent towards pursing Christ from a pure heart, humbly acknowledging and repenting of sin, and reaching out to the lost with the truth of the gospel message.  Our witness of Christ and the gospel shine forth best with humility and repentance; it is darkly clouded and greatly diminished mixed with corrupt and arrogant worldly ideologies.

  I am still continually thankful for the years I have sat under the teaching at Grace – primarily your teaching – and this letter expresses that thankfulness, as I believe I write this in obedience to the Lord, an obedience I have learned here to love and honor for the joy obedience produces.  I have continued to pray for you and the other pastors and staff here at Grace, and also that the Lord will aggressively continue to sanctify and cleanse His church.   

August 16, 2018 Letter

Ending

I’ve written this letter to you, Pastor MacArthur, but I will also submit a copy of it with a cover letter to the Chairman of the Board of Elders for the elders, asking them to consider any worthiness within my words and to pray about these issues and offer you any input or advice as appropriate to their role as leaders within the church and co-shepherds of God’s people at Grace.

I now close this letter, and state that I write this letter, I believe, in obedience to Christ, with a concern for your teaching and the legacy of your ministry, out of loyalty to my brethren at Grace, and with a heart full of thankfulness for the many, many, years I have sat under your teaching – I’ve been here since November, 1974!  Just the fact that I can write a letter such as this makes evident the impact of your teaching in my life over the years.  I continue to pray for you, for the leadership at Grace, and for my brethren at Grace. 

February 16, 2019 Letter

John, your teaching has always been full and with depth and never deficient or shallow, and because of your example, I also do not want my love and honoring of your ministry to be either deficient or shallow.  That is why I have written this letter.  These qualities of your character and teaching, apart from the actual scriptural content, have also made a lasting impression upon my mind, and I’m sure within the hearts and minds of many others, even if they are not consciously aware of them or able to articulate this aspect within their lives.  Perhaps the impact of this constant fullness and depth upon my life, and the absence of them in your political teachings and proclamations, have as an addition to their actual content and intent, also added to the painful penetration of grief within my heart, a pain and grief that has spread as a pervading sadness within me over these many years of your political bewitchments and their intrusions into your teaching ministry and life.  But I thank the Lord deeply for this grief and pain – for the depths to which I plunged, and for the experience and growing depth of the knowledge of His infinite love and grace, intimate lovingkindness, overwhelming strength, comfort, and wisdom – for the absolute allness of all of Him – and for the deep peace of the trust and confidence I have in Him as He continues to direct my path.

I am now praying that the Lord will move with the power of His holiness, grace, and righteousness within the hearts and minds of God’ people within the local churches:

• To raise up many godly and convicted voices, big and small, articulate and hesitant, calling not only for repentance and mourning, but also crying out for a renewed faith and heart in returning to the simplicity of a devotion to Christ and His word,
• For hearts filled with compassion, love, and a deep commitment and godly longing to reach the lost with the truth and light of the gospel of our Savior, Jesus Christ,
• For a renewed and deepening trust in the Lord and a returning reliance upon the Holy Spirit exhibited in an obedient walk and fervent and constant prayer,
• To fill their hearts and minds with prayers that the Lord will cleanse His church of worldly political ideologies and ensuing corrupting alliances and practices,
• And that the Lord will move in our nation and among the peoples of this land in His way and through His means to spread righteousness and secure justice for all.

With a heart deeply thankful before the Lord for all He has given and blessed me with through my forty-four years here at Grace, including the scriptural knowledge and an ever deepening love for the Lord that has prepared me to write even letters such as this, I continue to pray for you and your ministry, for Grace and the Evangelical Church and the even larger Christian community, and for our political process and our nation and its peoples as a whole.  Moreover, I pray with diligence, hope, and even joy as I have already seen the Lord answering many prayers.  And, now, in my heart and mind, I believe this is the final letter that I need write to you, as I believe I have written everything that the Lord has intended for me to say.  May the Lord, through His gracious and powerful work, create in you a heart magnified in profound humility and an ever-deepening love and devotion to Himself, and may He, by equally magnifying your ministry, increase the grace and blessing upon His people throughout all the remaining years of your life.  For this, I will also pray.

Addendum II

When I wrote my letters to the church, I always thought of them within the context of writing to my pastor and the elders within my local church.  I still do, though you have now reminded me that the pastor and church does have a national and obviously international influence, which, yes, I was aware of, as in my letters I did mention the reach/influence he has through the radio and internet reach, but in my mind, I was always thinking and communicating with him as the pastor of my local church.  Maybe that focus, those local church relationships developed over 40 years, is the main reason why I wrote to the church over eight years and took so long to leave, this whole process and the final leaving under the leading of the Holy Spirit.  And, then because there was this personal connection to my pastor and the elders and to the church and the members, my leaving for me was so multi-layered, like a piece tearing away from a multi-colored fabric woven over many, many years, but necessary to be obedient to the Lord.